Why Everyone Lies to You During User Interviews

You sit down with a potential user. You show them your new prototype. Their eyes light up and they nod enthusiastically.

They tell you the design is clean. They tell you the features are exactly what they need. They even say, "I would definitely pay for this."

You leave the meeting feeling like a genius. You tell your team that product-market fit is guaranteed. You start building.

Six months later, you launch the product. You send an email to that same enthusiastic user.

Silence.

They do not buy. They do not even reply.

What happened? Did they change their mind? No. They lied to you. And the worst part is that they did not even realize they were doing it.

The Villain is Politeness

We tend to think of lying as a bad thing. We imagine a villain trying to trick us. But in user research, the enemy is not malice. The enemy is politeness.

When you sit face-to-face with someone, a social contract is formed. You are a human being who clearly worked hard on this idea. The person across from you is also a human being. They do not want to hurt your feelings.

If they say, "This idea is boring and I would never use it," they create an awkward moment. Most people hate awkward moments.

So they protect your feelings instead of your business. They give you compliments. They validate your ego. They unknowingly send your product roadmap off a cliff.

The "Future Self" Delusion

There is another reason the data is wrong. Humans are terrible at predicting their own future behavior.

If you ask someone, "Will you go to the gym next week?" they will almost always say yes. In their heads, their future self is a disciplined, healthy superhero.

But if you ask, "Did you go to the gym last week?" you get the boring, messy truth.

When you ask a user, "Would you use this feature?" you are asking them to imagine an ideal future. Of course they would use it. In the ideal future, they are productive and smart.

But you are not building a product for an ideal world. You are building it for reality.

The "Mom Test" Trap

There is a famous concept in the startup world called The Mom Test. It says that you should never ask your mom if your business idea is good. She loves you, so she will lie.

The problem is that during an interview, everyone becomes your mom.

They see your excitement. They mirror it. This is why "I love it" is the most dangerous feedback you can hear. It feels like data, but it is actually just noise.

How to Find the Truth

You need to stop asking for opinions and start hunting for evidence. Opinions are fluffy. Evidence is concrete.

Here is how you change the conversation.

1. Ask about the past, not the future Stop asking, "Would you use this?" Start asking, "When was the last time you solved this problem?" If they say the problem is huge but they have not tried to solve it in six months, it is not actually a huge problem. Action speaks louder than words.

2. Watch their face, not their words When people lie to be polite, their words are positive but their body language is neutral. When someone actually encounters a solution they need, their reaction is physical. They lean in. Their pupils dilate. They stop worrying about being polite because they are too busy thinking about the solution.

3. Remove the "Please Like Me" pressure This is the hardest part. As long as you are the one asking the questions, the user will try to please you.

You need to create an environment where the user feels zero judgment. They need to feel that "I hate this" is a valid and helpful answer. Sometimes this means asking questions anonymously or using asynchronous tools where social pressure is lower.

Bad News is Good News

It hurts to hear that your idea is confusing or unnecessary. It stings.

But that sting is a gift.

A lie makes you feel good for a day. The truth saves you from building a product nobody wants for a year.

So the next time a user tells you your idea is perfect, do not celebrate. Dig deeper. Ask why. Ask for examples.

Be brave enough to kill the politeness so you can save the product.